and blah. exams blah. mum's coming back today blah. she's going to have a fit when she sees my room blah. I don't think i'll blog anymore blah. I don't know blah. blarghhhhhh.

chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem. chem.

yeah. procrastinating. fun.

Yes...

It's funny. How the smallest little comment can make you insecure. And that's all I'm saying.

Not to you.

What. is. wrong. with. you.? Not you. RAWR. rwag. ylitliug. Did I mention RAWR? and rage/

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I'm siiiick TT__TT I could breathe this morning. Not so much now. But I could... *sigh* it's getting worrrrrrrse. Then tomorrow it's braces time. *sigh*.

17

In one month, I will turn seventeen. In one month, I will feel no different because when I turned sixteen, nothing happened and life forged on. When you turn a year older, you expect things to be different. After all, it's a year, right? A whole three hundred and sixty five (or four) days which consist of twenty four hours each and 60 minutes within each our, you'd expect that after all that time something would happen. Or maybe it was so gradual that I didn't notice. Years are defined by human terms. As I type this, I am reminded of a book that Tamora Pierce wrote. The character Keladry was passing over the border of a country into another and was surprised that it looked exactly the same. Borders are defined by human terms, and years are defined by human terms.

But I guess change comes so gradually in life that we hardly notice. You don't see the grass growing, you just notice it's taller. You don't notice when the change is occurring, you just see the outcome. But is the change necessarily bad? Because something has changed, does that mean it's bad.? I guess I'm kinda wondering. Because I have changed, am I- bad? Of course, if I do ask people that, the obvious thing they would reply is a joke or saying 'Of course not.' But in all seriousness (am I too serious...), is me changing a bad thing? Because I honestly like who I am. Well, not all of me. I'm not perfect, but I don't want to change things about me o_o. But is that bad? Ugh. The circle and train of thoughts that loop around your mind.

The current world's view is that "It's okay to be yourself". That's what people are convincing each other, but we all know that that's just words. I have no clue why it's this way. Maybe we all try to convince ourselves that we're really good-hearted people when, really, we're not. Or maybe that's just me = P Oh well. Time to stop thinking again.

To you, for who else would read this >_>

*sigh*. For reasons unknown, it feels as though the days just fly by. And though I said I highly anticipated the future, I regret that there never seems enough time. In two days, I can only get 1 piece of homework done. I feel so stuck. But how to stop this listless feeling that freezes me in this block of time?

A quote from 'The Girl Who Leapt Through Time' summarises my current train of thought perfectly.

"Time waits for no one." Yes, I know, it's probably not the first time that that idiom has been mentioned, but it sounds way cooler when they say it because they have heavy Japanese accents. Which basically means that I have to get more active and somehow find a way to get more energy. Which would be hard to do as my parents regard anything to do with going outside as unsafe and doing anything extra-curricular would interfere with my studies. Perhaps it is the internet eating away my precious time, as although I come home and resolve to stay away, for some reason or another, I convince myself of the need to use my computer for one purpose or another and soon enough, my whole evening is gone. And all I know is that I see a bed and that it calls me.

So I bid you farewell, kind gentleman, for reading this. I suspect you have more time to waste than I if you actually want to read this stuff >_>. lol. cya.